


Hard to Accept

by TheCritter91



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: AU, F/M, Gen, Only follows the Tv Show, Possible Catelyn Hate, bastards
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-08
Updated: 2013-04-08
Packaged: 2017-12-07 22:21:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/753739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCritter91/pseuds/TheCritter91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Catelyn Stark's POV, when Arya and Gendry come to Robb's encampment. Catelyn struggles to keep her previous ideals as she witnesses the changes that her youngest daughter has gone through since she'd last laid eyes on her in Winterfell before leaving for Kingslanding all those years ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hard to Accept

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically my way of trying to get my feelings for Catelyn out because I can honestly say that I despise her. I can understand why she does some of the things that she does, but they always say that the way to hell is paved with good intentions. This does not in any way follow the books and is basically an AU as soon as they had left Harrenhall.  
>  Enjoy =^..^=

 

                Catelyn never thought that this would be her life. To have her husband labeled a traitor, her oldest son leading a rebellion, and her children scattered throughout Westeros and its Seven Kingdoms. She knew that releasing Jamie Lannister in exchange for her daughters had been a fool hearty decision, but she had been sick with heartache and to her, her daughters meant more than some rebellion ever would. She also never expected to have Sansa returned to her, ever the beauty, but battle worn and with more worldly knowledge than she would have ever wanted for any of her children. To see her daughter with a will of iron and eyes that could go colder than any winter beyond the wall, it was something that drove a knife into her heart.

                It was one thing to see Robb so grown, leading with a natural ease that reminded her so much of Ned. And she was even coming to terms with the Sansa that she now had. But it had been several years now since she had lain eyes on Arya, her wild spirited little girl; the little girl that was so much a Stark that it turned people’s notice. She would be six and ten if she was, by some miracle of the Gods, still alive. And she would pray to the Gods, the old and the new, that all of her children continued to live. Because she knew without them, she would not survive this world.

Xxxx                                                                                                                

                There was a commotion throughout the camp that set everyone on edge. A band of fighters had come to the camp, and whispers of a She-Wolf and a Bull were circling to her ear. It wasn’t long before she was called to Robb’s tent, only to find Sansa already there and with tears in her eyes. She took stock of the tent’s contents and noticed the two extras standing in front of Robb and Sansa. The tall one was broad shouldered, with a shock of black hair. The girl beside him was slim and tense. She felt a sense of anticipation fell over her as she rounded the couple to Sansa’s side.

                Tears of joy immediately filled her eyes as she saw the face of a child she feared she would never see again. There in front of her eyes stood her little Arya. “Arya” she breathed out, almost not able to fully believe her eyes in case this was some twisted dream. Her daughter’s grey eyes swung from her siblings to her for a short moment before she returned them to Robb.

                “If it is alright with you, King of the North, my company and I would like to set up camp here. We are in need of rest and food.” Arya said, her gaze flickering to the large man beside her. Cat saw the looks the two exchanged, her daughter and the man, but she was still drowning in the feelings of having her daughter returned to her that she never noticed anything else. Robb let a fond smile cross his face, “Of course” he said. Arya nodded her head and then turned and left the tent, the giant of a man following one step behind her. It was then that the situation interrupted the dream like state that that they all were muddled in.

                “Something has happened to her, that is not my sister.” Robb said, staring at the entrance to the tent as if Arya would come bounding back in at any moment and be the same as they last saw her. Silence prevailed over the space before Sansa finally broke it, a knowing look about her eye mingled with sadness, “The world has happened to her Robb; like it has happened to us all.”

Xxxx

                She went in search for Arya that night after supper had been served, to invite Arya to a bath and a proper place to sleep. She walked through the rows of those who accompanied her daughter. She had asked one of them where she might find Arya and he had laughed, good naturedly with a slight twinkle in his eye, and said, “All you have to do is find the Bull and she will be there with him. They are never far from each other’s sight.” She had thanked him, forgetting to ask what the Bull looked like, but then she put his words to thought. It was then she remembered seeing the tall, broad dark haired man beside her daughter in Robb’s tent. He definitely looked like his name sake, she would give him that.

                It was easy to find them once she knew who to look for, and find them she did because on the other side of a small fire sat Arya with the Bull behind her. She stopped short when she realized that Arya was cuddled into this man’s chest as he ran his hand up and down her arm with his chin resting atop her head. She had half a mind to stomp over and snatch Arya away while chastising them about what was and wasn’t proper for a lady to do with a man. But before her instincts could take over her body, she saw Arya lay a kiss to the man’s neck and say something that brought those blue eyes to her grey.

                It was in this moment, as they gave each other small smiles and said more with their eyes, that she saw a glimpse of who her daughter had been. As she was watching them, she was suddenly bowled over with shadows from the past. Suddenly it wasn’t Arya and the Bull in here eyesight, it was Lyanna Stark and Robert Baratheon. All air left her lungs and she felt like she had been thrown into the Bay of Ice. Without further thought of propriety, Catelyn fled back to her tent to try and ease the tension that had gripped her heart.

                The grip never let up.

Xxxx

                It was a few days later that she again sought out Arya. She had heard mention of the Bull’s name, Gendry Waters, and Catelyn had been a flurry of emotion. There was no doubt in her mind that Gendry was Robert Baratheon’s son, but his last name proved what she feared all along. He was a bastard, just like Jon was. She had always tried to distance her children from Jon, to Ned’s displeasure, but the only child that had ever heeded her was Sansa. Robb and Jon had been brothers through and through, status and blood aside. To Arya and Bran, Jon was their older brother and their hero. Jon, along with Ned, had been one that indulged Arya’s fantasy of knighthood and sword fights.

                She had kept to the shadows and watched them from a distance. And it was when she was looking for it that she saw proof that this was no mere dalliance. There was a bond there that was deep and strong. The only times that Arya and Gendry were ever apart was when she was training and he was at the forge, but as soon as Arya was done, she sought Gendry out again as if she was Nymeria with a scent. Arya would sit and watch Gendry hammer iron at the anvil. But Catelyn was no fool, it was not the iron that Arya was watching. It was the arms, shoulders and back, covered in soot and sweat. Every once in a while, Gendry would pause and look to Arya and smile before returning to his work.

                It was late when Catelyn finally found a moment of separation between the two and could catch Arya’s attention. Arya seemed to track her every movement with a sharp gaze. They made their way to Robb’s tent, where Sansa, Talisa, and Robb all kept company as they ate. She didn’t notice Arya’s body coil with tension as she looked around the tent and its occupants. “Why don’t you share a tent with Sansa? I’m sure it would be much more comfortable than where you are sleeping now.” Catelyn tried to be polite first, hoping that maybe for once Arya would agree with her instead of fight. But it was no such luck.

                Arya shook her head, “I prefer to sleep with my men; we all keep each other safe.” Catelyn tried again, “But you would be with your family, to talk and catch up. We haven’t seen you in years.” But still Arya wouldn’t budge, “Both Sansa and Robb have asked for my company at different times and we talk. Where I sleep should matter not.” Catelyn could feel any patience that she’d had disappear, “I do not want you with that bastard! It isn’t proper, you are a lady and he is a bastard, there is no future there and I will not allow it!” Catelyn bellowed, causing a silence as cold as ice to fall over the tent.

                Arya’s eyes held a cold fury that Catelyn felt herself cringe at, “His name is Gendry, and he may be a bastard, but he is a better man than any noble or lord ever could be. He is part of my pack and we belong to each other.” Catelyn could scarcely open her mouth before Arya continued, her voice getting darker with each word, “And there are many things in this life that you _haven’t allowed_ and yet they still happened. This is one of those.” She gave them one final glance before she stalked from the tent. She could feel the eyes of her children on her, their judgment and anger. She knew that Arya was not Sansa, but she was a Stark of Winterfell and she could not take up with a bastard, even if his father _was_ Robert Baratheon.

                “She has been lost to us for many years and yet you challenge her as if she were still a child.” Robb broke the silence, disbelief coloring his words, “Even I know her well enough that I know she has her own mind.” Catelyn felt indignation rise in her again at being addressed so by her children. Robb had gained more than what she could have ever dreamed of, and Sansa was ever much the lady that a mother could be proud to call her own, but Arya? She was always ever the wild spirit, never content with what life as a Highborn would demand.

                She didn’t get the chance to speak before Sansa turned the attention to herself, “We have all grown in a harsh, unforgiving world. But Arya has found something to fight for and to fight _for_ her. Trying to take it away will only cause her to run and for us to never see her again. If her bastard is the price we pay for having her at all, then it is a small price to pay.” As if to punctuate her point, she stood from her chair and left the tent all together. Catelyn stood in shock. Sansa had never once talked to her in such a way before. She decided to leave the tent before more could be said that could not be unsaid on either party’s side, making her way for her own tent where she could at least find some solace with her own thoughts.

Xxxx

                It wasn’t until a week later that she had found Arya again, but she once again stayed to the shadows to watch. It was late, past the supper hour, when Arya left the company of the men she’d brought with her. Sheer curiosity won out over Catelyn as she followed her youngest. She knew to stay well behind Arya or else she risked being discovered before she wished. But it didn’t take long before she realized where they were both headed; the forge. She forced herself to stay behind her daughter the closer they got to the forge, where the fires burned hot even at this late hour. It was when she heard Arya’s voice that she dared peek into the forge, “The fires will be here in the morning, and it isn’t fair to the other smiths. I’m sure they have their own projects to complete.” The teasing was clear as day in her voice, something that had been long absent in her interactions with anyone of her family. “I am almost finished m’lady, and then they can have the fire all night if they wish.” A small huff of laughter sounded before the only sounds were the fire crackling, and a hammer hitting steel. Looking in, Catelyn saw a sight she had seen before and it almost pained her.

                But it wasn’t long before Arya seemed to lose all patience. She stood from the stood so abruptly that it wavered and almost fell to the ground, “You can finish in the morning, I’m tired and ready to go to bed.” Her tone was so severe that Catelyn was almost afraid that she would strike the man and drag him along behind her. But all Arya got in response was, “Then go to bed” and the continuation of a hammer against metal. Arya huffed and turned away from him in a show of annoyance, causing a small smile to cross Catelyn’s face. As quickly as she had turned away from him, Arya spun back around to face him once again, “You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?” as if he already knew what she wanted. Catelyn couldn’t deny the pang in her heart, something that seemed to be a constant feeling around her youngest daughter lately, at the familiarity there between them. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, m’lady.” He seemed totally innocent and naïve, but they all knew such was not the case.

                She watched as Arya stomped over to him and put herself between him and the anvil and reaching up to place her hands on his face. He set the hammer down against the stone and looked down at her with a glint of amusement and waited patiently, coaxing her to speak. “Stupid Bull” she muttered before taking a deep breath, acting as though saying these words were like taking a sword to the chest, “I wish for you to take me to bed, Gendry Waters, so that I can ravage you to my heart’s content and until there is nothing left to give. After which you will wrap those stupidly large arms around me and hold me like the delicate little lady that I am not.” She had barley finished speaking when he bent down to lift her to him and placed a searing kiss on her lips. Arya wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned her entire body into the kiss, seeming to never want to let go. When they pulled back, reluctantly, he muttered a soft, “As you wish m’lady” against her lips before carrying her out of the forge and to their tent.

                Catelyn made sure to press herself further into the shadows as they passed, wishing to keep herself hidden from discovery while she processed the scene that had been played out before her. Two sides of her warred with one another, one saying that her little Arya was grown up and had clearly made her choice and that it was evident in the ways she had seen them together. While the other screaming and ranting on that that was her little girl, her little Arya and she should be the lady she was born to be and be married to a Highborn and fulfilling her duties as both a Stark of Winterfell and as a lady. She did not know how long she stood rooted to the spot before she managed to pull herself away and practically ran back to her tent, a common occurance when it came to Arya these days it seemed. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Well I've decided to make this into at least two parts to make it longer, let me know what you think! Hope you liked it.


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